My hands are lifted up/
My heart is ready to receive/
A blessing from you/
These words are from a song entitled "My Hands Are Lifted Up" by Jovanta Patton. I downloaded this song to my tablet this morning at 9am, as I write this its 2:23 and it has been playing continuously in my ears for the past 5 hours and 23 minutes. I'd first heard it when the choir here performed it one Sunday and the moment I heard it it moved me. It moved me so much that I made plans to download it to my tablet as soon as possible. From that moment until this morning at 9am I'd intended to download it on numerous occasions but never did. I didn't download it on any of those other occasions because it wasn't time for me to do so. See there were some things the Lord wanted to show me through this song, some correction and instruction He wanted to give, but I had to go through some stuff first. I had to try and endure hardships and trials with my own strength. Not because God wasn't with me but because I had lost sight of Him in certain situations. I had to see things around me fall apart and try to fix them on my own only to see them worsen. I had to become more angry, frustrated and aggravated than I had been in many years. I had to watch friendships dissolve or fracture and not be able to repair them and restore them back to where they initially were. At times I had to feel like I was all alone. And then I had to know what it felt like to ask God for help and not receive any. Not because He wasn't able because He surely is. Not because He wasn't listening, He most definitely was. And not because He didn't want to, I'm His son so I know He most certainly did want to. I didn't receive what I was asking for because I was asking amiss. I didn't turn to Him immediately as my first, last, and only line of defense and seek His help in these situations so that He could fix them and I could glorify Him through His provision.
No, I was turning to Him as a last resort just so I could be done with what I was going through. I was treating my God like a quick fix instead of the creator and ruler of the universe. And not in every situation but isn't treating Him like this in just one situation one too many? Of course but I had to go through these things. I had to try and endure on my own so I could see how weak I truly am. I had to try to fix things to see how incapable and ineffectual I am without my God. I had to be shown, very clearly, that my level of surrender and submission to Him and the amount of reliance I was placing on Him wasn't sufficient. Had to be made aware that my heart wasn't where it needed to be to receive the blessings I was asking for. But, these things could only be made known to me in God's time and His time was obviously this morning at 9am. The moment I heard this song I knew God was speaking to me. As soon as I comprehended what was being said I lifted my hands with tears in my eyes, regret in my heart, and humbly repented. I asked for forgiveness, I thanked Him for his superabundant grace and mercy, I thanked Him for his correction, and I praised Him. I praised Him for who He is and what He's done in my life and in the middle of all this a feeling of relief filled me so much so that I was overcome with it. Everything that had been bothering me became smaller in the presence of my Lord. Today my Heavenly Father spoke to me, He corrected me through a worship song, correction I immediately accepted and heeded. Today, by fixing my heart, I fixed a fracture in my relationship with my God, one I wasn't even aware existed. Today if you find yourself in a situation similar to mine I suggest you do what the word of God says to do. Do what the words of this song describe. Do what I did. Humbly surrender yourself and your issues to God and see if He don't prove Himself worthy of that surrender. He did for me. Today, My Hands Are Lifted Up, never again will I put them down.
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