I was once very materialistic. I loved things, constantly craved money and would do almost anything to get it. And if I couldn't get it I would constantly worry about getting it until I did get it and then the cycle would start all over again. I was like this as a free man but it got worse when I came to prison. Residing in a place where many people don't have much of anything and having the things you want can, a lot of times, be a luxury not easily attained, caused me to live in prison like I did on the streets. Selling drugs was a normal occurrence for me. I was also selfish and stingy and unless you were someone really close to me generosity was not something very commonplace for me. Then my life changed. I found myself not wanting to live life the way I had been living for the longest of times. I wanted to be different, to be better, I wanted radical change and it was offered to me in Christ and one of the first things He changed was my focus. He showed me that He expected me to be done with my materialistic ways, to be done with my love and constant pursuit of money, and to be done with worrying over money. He showed me that He wanted my focus on Him and my reliance, financially, to be solely upon Him, and that nothing less was acceptable. This was probably the hardest transition into Christianity for me but it was so fruitful. You see once I was able to let go of my desire and pursuit of things. When I was able to let Jesus have the responsibility of providing for me. And when I was finally willing to be content with and appreciative of what He provided life became so much easier. Seeing Him provide for me strengthened my faith and took away half my worries and problems. If you have struggled with these issues like I have do what I did. Place your focus on Christ, your Possessor, and take it off of your possessions. Rely on Him to provide for you and see what happens. I guarantee He's better at it than you and will prove it to you. God Bless.
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