Father's Day brings up some complicated feelings for me. My dad died 11 years ago from cancer but he was around for 23 years of my life. My daddy issues do not stem from a father who left me albeit he worked a lot; he missed some important things in my life. I'm grateful for my upbringing in the church and the family music ministry of which I have so many great memories. Those came from him. At the same time he was verbally and physically abusive and the emotional scars still remain. I am reminded of the pain often when I hear a father say he is proud of his child on a TV show or movie and I automatically get choked up. I just can't remember my dad saying that to me. There is some hope for me though. See I still have a Heavenly Father. Sometimes I think I hear him telling me how disappointed He is in me or how stupid I am but those are only reflections of my earthly father. Still more, if I use my gifts and talents to build up the church now instead of hurting people like I used to do, I may just get to hear the "I am proud of you" that I must want to hear so badly. Jesus tells us in Matthew 25:14-30 about a man who left what what his with some servants while he went on a journey. Two of those three servants used what they were given to gain more and their lord rewarded them with "Well done, good and faithful servant." Jesus was giving a parable about His own return. I want that "well done" and the signs of His return just keep multiplying. If I can keep that goal in mind and work faithfully, I can trust a His promise that He will let me know that He noticed. May that be encouragement for all of His children.
I could go on about daddy issues but I'll save it for the psychologist. May God bless you all.
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